Growing a Heart of Love:
Fill Up Your Love Tank!!!!
Part Two
February 1, 2026
Scripture: Hebrews 10:19-25
In the fall of 2000, doctors diagnosed Author, Professor, Pastor Ed Dobson with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease), an incurable and fatal disease. The doctors gave him two to five years to live and predicted that he would spend most of that time in a disabled condition. Shortly after he was diagnosed, Ed wanted someone to anoint him with oil and pray for healing. And he wanted someone to pray who really believed in healing. So, Ed invited a friend, a Pentecostal pastor who had regular healing services, to come over and pray for him. Here is how Ed described what happened: It was one of the most moving evenings of my entire life. He began by telling stories of people he had prayed for who were miraculously healed. He also told stories about people he had prayed for who were not healed and had passed away, receiving that ultimate and final healing. Before he prayed for me, he gave me some advice. "Don't become obsessed with getting healed, Ed," he said. "If you get obsessed [with getting healed], you will lose your focus. Get lost in the wonder of God, and who knows what he will do for you. “This is some of the best advice I have ever received …. Since that night, I've been trying to get—and stay—lost in the wonder of God. (Pastor Dobson passed away in December of 2015).
This is what Paul prays for us as stated in Ephesians 3:16-19, I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God (NLT).
Oh, how I pray you will know and experience the extent of Christ’s love. I pray that your love tank will be filled up!! Two weeks ago, I noted that we need to examine our own life, our love tank, our “heart” condition. One major way is to examine our heart is by the words that we say! As Jesus said in Matthew 12:34, For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Our words reflect our spiritual/emotional heart condition!!!
The first principle to have our love tank filled is to GET A NEW HEART!!!! Filling your love tank starts by receiving and understanding God’s amazing love and grace! Be filled with His love!
Ezekiel 36:26 says, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
I John 4:7-10 says, Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God (born of His Spirit) and knows God.
True love comes from God!!! Sadly, too many people have their own perspective on love. One needs to realize true love is God’s way! Now, if one is to have their love tank truly filled, then it begins with God and being born of God, His Spirit.
A second principle that was noted was: Take to heart the depth of your sinfulness and God’s amazing love and forgiveness! Be humble! Love with a Christlike love!
If you recognize the depth of your own sinfulness, then you will deeply appreciate God’s love and grace! (Note Luke 7:36-47.) His love will motivate you to repent, apologize, forgive, encourage, show kindness, be patient, and speak the truth in love and consider others better than yourself.
Thirdly, be totally convinced that you matter to Him! Know your identity is in Christ!
Isaiah 43:1, 4 says, “I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by my name; you are mine. You are precious and honored in my sight and I love you.”
We looked at a clip from the movie, Overcomer. One of the big questions of the movie was “Who are you?” You need to take to heart that God created you! He designed you. His Son died for you so you could be forgiven. As one truly receives Him, one is born again of His Spirit. You are His child!
Today, I want to note two more critical principles in filling up your love tank.
Here is the fourth principle. If you are going to fill up your love tank, then draw near to God! Be cleansed! Have the attitude “I want to know Him!” Abide in Him! Put your hope in Him!
Hebrews 10:19-22a states, Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings…
Since Jesus opened the doors to heaven and God’s presence, then let us draw near to Him with a sincere heart and with a faith that is fully assured of coming into His presence!
As we draw near to the Lord, He will fill up your love tank. Scripture notes that after Jesus had a full day of loving, serving, healing, counseling, and teaching people, he would leave the multitudes and go into the mountains to pray. He would replenish himself by spending time with the Father.
So also, just like a child needs to experience times of security, care, and love from an earthly parent, we also need to experience precious moments with our Heavenly Father.
Then Hebrews 10:22b states, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.
Listen, we all fail. The key is to have a godly sorrow (II Corinthians 7:8-11), learn from our failures, experience the cleansing of a guilty conscience, and then move forward! The Apostle Peter after denying Jesus three times experienced a deep sorrow, yet he learned from his failure, experienced the Lord’s amazing grace and cleansing, and then moved forward!
King David failed as he had an adulterous relationship. Yet, he had a godly sorrow and sought the Lord’s cleansing. He writes, Psalm 51:10-13, Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 11 Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. 13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you.
In Philippians 3:7-14, the Apostle Paul notes the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus as His Lord! He notes that a right relationship with God comes based on faith, not the law. Then he says this: I want to know Christ! He wanted to know and become like Jesus! He goes on and says, I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me…I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
This should be our attitude and our desire. If you are going to have your love tank filled, then it is critical for each of you to draw near to the Lord, to be cleansed, to learn and grow, to move forward with the desire to know Christ.
Now let me note this. The desire to know Christ, will prompt you to spend time communicating with Him through prayer. One gives praise and thanksgiving and commits your “issues” unto Him. Note Philippians 4:6, 7.
The desire to know Christ will also prompt you to spend precious moments with him by allowing him to speak to you as you hear or read His word. Colossians 3:16 instructs us to let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. I Peter 2:2 notes that we are to crave pure spiritual milk. As we do this, God begins to transform us by the renewing of our mind (Romans 12:1, 2). It is so important to take Scripture to heart (Psalm 119).
Over the years the Lord has taught me primarily through His word, but also through various trials. I had to deal with such things as anger, bitterness, controlling, stubbornness, guilt, depression, identity crisis, lack of self-control such as food intake, and pride especially spiritual pride not admitting that I was wrong or thinking that I was better than others. I have had to learn, to adjust and pick up my cross daily and follow Jesus. Even after 50+ years in being a Christian, I have not arrived, but I press on to know Christ, to reflect His character!
Listen, the Lord Jesus desires for each of us to walk with Him/to abide in Him (John 15:1-17). If you do, He will produce the fruit of the Spirit in your life: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Hebrews 10:23 then states, Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.
It is so important to hold onto the hope that we have in Christ Jesus! Life can be discouraging, but we hold onto the hope in Christ. If one does not hold onto hope, one gives up (Note Luke 18:1). One needs to take to heart that God is faithful! As my favorite verse states, May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
The weather this past week has been harsh! I must admit that I was moaning and groaning about it. I just wanted to stay home out of the cold. Yet I was encouraged to get a text from Marcia this past Wednesday stating that there were only 7 weeks and 2 days until Spring. It inspired hope!
This leads me to the fifth principle in filling up your love tank. Learn and grow with other believers! Encourage and spur one another on to love and good deeds! Help fill up the love tank of others!
Hebrews 10:24, 25, And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
We are to spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Now we must consider how best to do that. So, I ask myself, “What do I need to consider?” There are two thoughts that come to my mind. One, what is the most loving thing that I can do for that person? Is it speaking and showing tough love or tender love? I will be addressing this over the next couple of weeks.
A second question that I consider is how I can best influence that person. What will motivate that person to change, grow in Christ? Since people have different temperaments and experiences, one needs to consider how best to influence. We need to consider what we say and how to say it if we are going to influence and not provoke. This is so important in dealing with people.
The writer of Hebrews notes that we are not to give up on meeting together. People can be difficult and sadly many forsake the assembly. Yet it is within the Church setting that we can learn to deal with people! We are to engage in meeting together to learn and grow in Christ.
Ephesians 4:1-3 states, As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
He goes on in verses 4:11-16 and describes church leaders are to equip the people so that they can be built up, have a unity, speak the truth in love so the church can mature in Christ, to grow and build itself up in love as each of us do our part.
I see an important part of my job is to teach God’s word so you can grow, mature to become like Christ (Colossians 1:28). As you mature in Christ, truths about God, about the world, about relationships, about values, about yourself are discovered and hopefully applied.
Then in Ephesians 4:17-32, the Apostle Paul instructs how we are to speak and act towards one another. He first tells us to put off the old self and put on the new self. The new self was created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Then Paul says, Therefore, one is to speak truthfully, in your anger do not sin, do not steal, but work to help others, speak words to build others up. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit. Get rid of bitterness, rage, anger brawling, and slander. Be kind and compassionate to one another. Forgive each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
What is our motivation to do this? Ephesians 5:1, 2 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Loving God and experiencing His love, changes the way you love others! My hope is that you understand God’s will and God’s Holy Spirit will work in your life to mold you and fill you with His love so you can overflow with love toward others (Note Ephesians 5:15-20; Colossians 3:15-17).
Now let me note this. Hebrews 10:25 states that we especially need to encourage one another as the day of the Lord is quickly approaching! This is so important currently. Numerous end time prophecies have come true such as there has been an increase in knowledge (Daniel 12:4). Israel has been restored as a nation (Ezekiel 37; Romans 11:25,26). Sin is running rampant, the love of many has grown cold, and the gospel has or shortly will be preached to all nations (Note Matthew 24:9-14). So please take to heart the importance of the fellowship!!
We need to learn and apply true love! Then, as you learn and grow in Christ, then hopefully you will learn to truly love in your family relationships.
Paul goes on in Colossians 3 and Ephesians 5 and the first part of chapter 6 stating how one is to be a loving spouse and a parent. (Note Titus 2 also).
A husband and wife are to love one another. Yet so many couples struggle. Why? As Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, states, With empty love tanks, couples tend to argue and withdraw, and some may tend to be violent verbally or physically in their arguments. But when the love tank is full, we create a climate of friendliness, a climate that seeks to understand, that is willing to allow differences and to negotiate problems. I am convinced that no single area of marriage affects the rest of marriage as much as meeting the emotional need for love…
Now, Scripture indicates that a spouse is to be a helpmate. In other words, one is to help the other grow into the character of Christ. The key is both husband and wife need to be committed to mature in Christ. Both need to pursue filling their love tank with God’s love. Now, if either spouse wants it his/her way/will, not God’s way, then it will not be a happy or successful marriage.
Learning and growing in Christ has been a key for Kathy and me! I am not sure how she put up with me, especially 42 years ago. I was angry, depressed, bitter, critical. I was not a happy person. I was hurting. Plus, especially at that time, I did not manage my negative emotions very well. Yet, God worked through His Spirit, His word, other believers, and the encouragement of my wife. Transformation and healing occurred.
God’s design is out of a couple’s oneness, they have children. The Lord has entrusted parents, grandparents, and others to raise that child in the Lord. One is to fill a child’s love tank with Christlike love.
Gary Chapman writes, Child psychologists affirm that every child has certain basic emotional needs that must be met if he is to be emotionally stable. Among those emotional needs, none is more basic than the need for love and affection, the need to sense that he or she belongs and is wanted. With an adequate supply of affection, the child will likely develop into a responsible adult. Without that love, he or she will be emotionally and socially retarded.
Listen, the emotional need for love is fundamental to our nature. Love is at the center of our emotional desires. Something in our nature cries out to be genuinely loved by another.
Gary Smalley and John Trent tell the following story in their book, “The Language of Love.”
His leaving had been abrupt and unforeseen. His wife had come home from shopping one day and found the note on the refrigerator. The words were brief and cold. He was tired of trying to make their marriage work….He refused counsel. He refused to seek reconciliation. He refused to listen to the church. He set his jaw in disobedience to God and disregard to anyone who approached him. It appeared that he would never turn around. What can be said to a man like that to get through the thick walls of rationalization and self-justification he has erected around his heart?
One night, when everyone else was asleep, his oldest daughter wrote this letter to him.
Dear Dad,… I just want to share with you what I’ve been thinking. Dad, I feel like our family has been riding in a nice car for a long time. It’s the kind that has every extra inside and not a scratch on the outside. But over the years, the car has developed some problems… The car’s been really hard to drive or ride in because of all the shaking and squeaking. But it’s still a great automobile—or at least it could be. With a little work, I know it could run for years. Since we got the car, Brian and I have been in the back seat while you and Mom have been up front. We feel secure with you driving and Mom beside you. But last month, Mom was at the wheel. It was nighttime, and we had just turned the corner near our house. Suddenly, we all looked up and saw another car, out of control, heading straight for us. Mom tried to swerve out of the way, but the other car still smashed into us. The impact sent us flying off the road and crashing into a lamppost. The thing is, Dad, just before being hit, we could see that you were driving the other car. And we saw something else: Sitting next to you was another woman. It was such a terrible accident that we were all rushed to the emergency ward. But when we asked where you were, no one knew. We are still not really sure where you are or if you were hurt or if you need help. Mom was really hurt. She was thrown into the steering wheel and broke several ribs. One of them punctured her lungs and almost pierced her heart. When the car was wrecked, the back door smashed into Brian. He was covered with cuts from the broken glass, and he shattered his arm, which is now in a cast. But that’s not the worst. He’s still in so much pain and shock that he doesn’t want to talk or play with anyone. As for me, I was thrown from the car. I was stuck out in the cold for a long time with my right leg broken. As I lay there, I couldn’t move and didn’t know what was wrong with Mom and Brian. I was hurting so much myself that I couldn’t help them. There have been times since that night when I wondered if any of us would make it. Even though we’re getting a little better, we’re all still in the hospital. The doctors say I’ll need a lot of therapy on my leg, and I know they can help me get better. But I wish it were you who was helping me, instead of them. The pain is so bad, but what’s even worse is that we all miss you so much. Every day we wait to see if you’re going to visit us in the hospital, and every day you don’t come. I know it’s over. But my heart would explode with joy if somehow, I could look up and see you walk into my room. At night when the hospital is really quiet, they push Brian and me into Mom’s room, and we all talk about you. We talk about how much we loved driving with you and how we wish you were with us now. Are you all right? Are you hurting from the wreck? Do you need us like we need you? If you need me, I’m here and I love you. Your daughter Kimberly.
A week later, Kimberly’s father showed up at the house to talk to her, “Kimberly, How’s your leg honey?
“My leg?”
“I got your letter.”
“Oh, well, it hasn’t been doing too well.”
I’m sorry I hurt you so badly, Kimberly. You don’t know how sorry I am. Your letter came when I didn’t know if I could ever return to the family. I felt I’d gone too far…but your story showed me how much pain I’d caused you all…There’s a lot to work out. I’m going to give it all I have.
Will you cry out for help to your Heavenly Father? Will you give it all you have in pursuing the Lord fill your love tank? Will you then help others grow in Christlike love?
