Basic Principles for Handling Stress

October 19, 2025

Scripture: Psalm 4

In an issue of the AARP Bulletin, readers were asked to respond to the question: What's your strategy for coping with stress? The answers ranged from "eat a chocolate chip cookie" to "have a stiff drink." But Don Betz of Oakdale, Minnesota, offered his own unique solution. Every January 1st, Betz says, "I give my wife $1, and she worries about everything for both of us." That is not the entirety of the plan. Betz added, "If someone else wants to be worry free, they can also send her a dollar."

We live in an incredibly stressful society. According to the American Psychological Association, the stress situation in America is “chronic.” Many would say Americans today are the most collectively stressed-out population in history.

Stress differs from person to person, but we all experience some form of stress. It is an inherent part of daily life. We can feel distressed for a variety of reasons such as a test, a conflict, work expectations, regrets, fear, finances, the to do lists, some form of change, physical illness of a loved one or oneself, the death of a loved one, or unfulfilled expectations, etc. 

Now, there are numerous ways to decrease stress that have shown to help: such as working out, eating healthy, simplifying your schedule, controlling your finances, doing something you enjoy, stop being a perfectionist, or realize all you can do is all you can do.  These are all good and I encourage you to apply these stress relievers.

Today, Psalm 4 reveals several key principles in managing stress. In this Psalm, David was stressed. He was experiencing a war within himself. The Psalmist expresses that he was distressed in verse 1. Verse 2 indicates relational conflict. Verse 7, the Psalmist had a lack of joy. Verse 8 indicates that he had not been sleeping.

So, let’s look at this Psalm. It begins with a superscription. For the director of music. With stringed instruments. A psalm of David. This psalm was to be added to the collection of works to be used by the director of music in Israel’s worship services. It was to be sung or read with stringed instruments such as a harp. David wanted this song to be put to music so people could enjoy, be edified, and encouraged in the Lord.

David knew the importance of music in relieving stress. In I Samuel 16, Saul experienced stress from a tormenting spirit. David would be brought in to play the harp and Saul would feel better.

Principle 1: In dealing with stress, listen, sing, and/or write praiseworthy music.

I have learned over the years that there is nothing like music with edifying lyrics that speak to the heart! Kathy finds an immense joy in listening to and singing Christian music. It helps her relieve her stress. I don’t sing very much, unless I am alone, but I find music speaks joy and peace into my soul. When I am stressed, music lightens the burden. The Lord uses music to touch our spirit. Music is a powerful thing. One song can change your perspective or mood. One song can change your life.

Then David writes, verse 1, Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have relieved me in my distress; Be gracious to me and hear my prayer.

David begins by boldly saying, Answer me when I call. In other words, Lord, I need your help right now! Respond now! He approaches the Lord boldly and with confidence!

O God of my righteousness acknowledges that the Lord Almighty is righteous. God's righteousness means that He is perfectly just, holy, and fair in all His actions and decisions. This attribute is central to His character and is consistently highlighted throughout the Bible.

Psalm 145:17-20 states, The Lord is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does. 18 The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. 19 He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. 20 The Lord watches over all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy.

Since God is always, right, just, and fair and since the Lord is David’s God, then he pleads for His will to be done in managing the distress that he is experiencing.

Then David states, You have relieved me in my distress. David uses the past tense here. He is acknowledging that God has relieved his distress in the past. So, he pleads with the Lord to deliver him from his stress again.

Many times, when we are stressed over something we have a tough time remembering all the good that we have experienced in life. If we remember and appreciate what God has done in the past, we can be confident the Lord will help in the present.

Then David says, Be gracious to me, and hear my prayer! He asks for the Lord to show His grace again. David knows that he is not perfect, that he has failed, so he pleads with the Lord to be gracious. He does not deserve God’s mercy, but he cries out for the Lord to hear and show grace! He hopes the Lord will not disregard or ignore.

Here is the second principle. PRAY!! Pray according to God’s will, His character!

The Apostle Paul wrote in Philippians. 4:6-7, Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I Peter 5:7 states, Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Prayer is effective. When we pray, God can relieve us of our anxieties or inner turmoil. The Lord’s inner, calming peace can come upon us.

Verse 2, How long will you people ruin my reputation? How long will you make these groundless accusations? How long will you pursue lies (NLT).

David is indicating a major part of his stress. It is people! Now it seems like he is expressing what he would say to his accusers. This can be an emotionally healthy thing to do. David was not happy as His position and reputation were coming under attack. So, he questions, “How long will you keep criticizing me, rejoicing at my failures, always looking for the very worst in me.”

Sinful human beings have a natural sinful tendency to be critical and slanderous, especially toward leaders.

As David prayed, he was identifying the problem and beginning to process his anger, or stress. Here is a third principle. Identify and address stressors! Recognize what triggers your stress and take steps to change or reduce these factors.

A 55-year-old businessman complained of headaches and occasionally blurred vision and a tingling in the right ear. He went to the doctor. All the tests came back negative. The doctor recommended that he start eating healthier and take some Tylenol. He did but after 6 weeks, he still suffered from headaches. He went back to the doctor, and the doctor told him to get some exercise, start walking. So, he did, but after 6 weeks, he was still suffering from headaches. So back to the doctor again. The doctor referred him to a specialist. More tests were done. Again, all the tests came back negative. The doctor recommended a therapist. So, he continued to eat healthy, take Tylenol, exercise daily, and see a physical therapist. However after 6 weeks, he was still suffering. The physical stress along with the stress related to his family and his job were overwhelming, at a breaking point! His wife recommended that he get a new suit for possibly having to look for a new job. He went to a Men’s Clothing store. He picked out a suit and then told the salesperson that he needed a size 15 for a shirt. The salesman suggested a size 16. Irritated, the man replied, I’ve been buying shirts for 25 years, I want a size 15! The salesman responded, “That is fine with me, sir, if you want to suffer from headaches, blurred vision, and tingling in the right ear.”  The businessman suddenly realized the key issue, the problem causing all the stress.

Why do I tell that story? It is because often we don’t truly realize or want to deal with the real problem. Our stress triggers can stem from a variety of places in our lives. Things from the past, present, and/or what we are anxious about in the future. Other stress triggers might be physical health, your job, a divorce, being a caregiver, death of a loved one, dealing with difficult people, finances, or the news. Your temperament weaknesses will also prompt stress such as fear, worry, anger, bitterness, pride, stubbornness, lack of discipline or poor self-image. This is why it is so important to grow in Christ, to allow God’s Holy Spirit work in your life so you can produce the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. As you walk in the Spirit/abide in Christ, you will overcome the various stresses of life.

Now the key is to be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:1, 2). This past week I read an article entitled, This Is Your Brian…on Stress, by Dr. Michelle Pokorny. Michelle is a professional counselor and a professor at Dallas Theological Seminary. (The article is available in the narthex.) She indicates that when under stress, it is like the brain is on fire. She then writes, “Thankfully, God hardwired your brain to be malleable, and ancient spiritual practices can help you keep calm and carry on in the midst of this 21st century living.” She then gives several suggestions including deep breathing, exercise, rehearsing Scripture, prioritizing your schedule, and learning the art of setting limits, having community, and laughing with others, and playing. I especially liked her statement about prayer in dealing with stress. She writes, I often end up ruminating on my problem rather than focusing on the God of the universe who is infinitely capable of meeting my needs. So, instead of praying about the problem, I try to start by meditating on the character of God.

It is so important to grasp the stress trigger(s) and process it appropriately. Do what it takes to overcome stress! If you are stressed about finances, then maybe talk to a financial planner. If you are stressed about your health, then it might be best to talk to your doctor.

Verse 3, Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself; the Lord hears when I call to him.

David is telling his accusers to know that he is a servant of the Lord’s and should be respected. This verse also indicates that David was secure in his relationship with the Lord. This is the reason he could go boldly to the Lord in prayer.

If you have received Jesus as your Lord and Savior, if you have committed your life to pick up your cross and follow Jesus, if you are doing His will, then you can know you are his servant, his child. (Additional reading on this is I John).

Here is a fourth principle. If you are committed to Jesus, seeking Him first, doing His will, abiding in Him, then know you are the Lord’s child, a King’s kid! He will hear you and answer your prayers in accordance with what is best for you!

As Romans 8:28 notes, In all things God works for the good of those who love him. He works all things for your good. Now, please realize the LORD is not at work producing the circumstances I want. God is at work in bad circumstances to produce the me he wants.

Verse 4, Tremble, and do not sin; Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still. David tells himself, his slanderers and us to stand in awe and not to sin. When we are stressed, we often don’t think about what we say or do. We leak. We lash out. We often allow a form of anger or fear to control us. Bitterness, revenge, anxiousness, worry, or a critical spirit can easily consume us. We need to be careful that we don’t fall into sin. In our stress, let’s not sin.

There are times we need to meditate on who God is, what he has done, and what he has said. For instance, if you worry, then meditate on Matthew 6:25-34 where Jesus addresses the issue of worry.

Search or examine your heart. I have observed many people don’t even realize they are leaking. Ask yourself, am I doing anything contrary to the Lord’s will? Am I suppressing any negative attitudes or experiences? Have I truly processed certain issues in my life? What is my motivation? Sin runs deep, so take time to search and examine your heart.

Then, perhaps the simplest command God has ever given, and yet the most difficult to keep, is to "be still."  As I read the command to be still, I think of Psalm 46:10, Be still, and know that I am God. It is so important to stop and reflect on the LORD. People have brought a great deal of stress upon themselves, simply by not being still or waiting for the Lord.

So here is the fifth key principle. In your stress, do not sin. Meditate on God’s word, search your heart, and be still.

Verse 5, Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and trust in the Lord.

David tells himself, his accusers, and us to offer the sacrifices of righteousness. In other words, repent of your sin and have a right relationship with the LORD.

Micah 6:8 states, He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. This is the sacrifice that is right and acceptable before God.

For example, people can cause stress!!! I think you would agree with me that doing the right thing in dealing with others can be difficult. Yet, we are to say and do the right thing. We are to be loving, kind, respectful, forgiving, and have the attitude of considering others better than ourselves. We are to speak words of encouragement but also speak the truth in love. I really don’t like conflict. But I know there are times I must deal with it. It is during those times that I try to speak the truth in love.

The end of verse 5 says, and trust in the Lord. We need to trust the Lord is working and will take care of whatever the issue.

Proverbs 3:5, 6 states, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Before David became king, he faced the giant Goliath and was hunted down by King Saul. Yet, he trusted in the Lord.

Daniel, while in exile in Babylon, defied a decree to worship the King. Instead, he boldly continued his practice of praying to God and was sentenced to being fed to lions. By expressing trust in God, Daniel experienced a peace during an extremely stressful time.

Jesus came to earth to live among men. He withstood misunderstanding and ridicule by the religious elite of His day. He faced a horrifying death at the hands of the Romans. Yet through it all, Jesus trusted His Heavenly Father.

As we trust and obey the Lord, we are given peace. Jesus said in John 14:26, 27, The Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Jesus has given peace through the gift of the Holy Spirit. Paul reiterates this in Romans 15:13, May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Here is the sixth principle. If you do what is right according to God’s word and trust the Lord, the Lord will give you a peace through the power of His Holy Spirit.

Verse 6, Many are saying, “Who will show us any good?” Lift up the light of Your countenance upon us, O Lord!

It seems like David is addressing another group in this verse. David looks at the people who are around him, those who have remained loyal. They have become disheartened, and they are saying, “Who will show us any good? There is no one to help us.”  They feel that their situation is hopeless. Their faith has turned to fear and their hope to despair.

David prays, Lift up the light of Your countenance upon us, O Lord! David is thinking about and praying the priestly blessing as noted in Numbers 6:22-27. The LORD bless you and keep you; 25 the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; 26 the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace." '

Here is the last principle this morning. Be aware of the Lord’s presence, be aware of his face shining over you!

David had a heart surrendered to the Lord. He trusted in God’s righteousness. He trusted in God’s love and His word. He knew that God was for him. And that knowledge was even greater than his fears, his discouragement, his anger, and all his stress. He knew that God would surround him, sustain him and save him.

In the darkness of David’s turmoil, he found joy and peace from the Lord. Verse 7, You have put gladness in my heart, more than when their grain and new wine abound.

The Lord shined upon Him, touched his heart and He experienced the Lord’s joy!

When the Lord has put gladness in our hearts, it is a greater joy than when we receive a raise, get a company bonus, or have our 401K plan increase 50 percent. God can bring greater joy into our lives than any material thing can!

Not only did David have the Lord’s joy in his heart, but verse 8, In peace I will both lie down and sleep, For You alone, O Lord, make me to dwell in safety.

Wouldn’t you love to lie down and not be anxious, just sleep in peace? Today, Americans are among the world's leaders in sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivation studies have shown that lack of sleep increases psychological distress. Sleep deprivation studies have also shown that most sleep deprived Americans-66 percent-can't sleep because they're anxious about finances.

David had found the answers to his stress. He sums it up at the end of verse 8, For You alone, O Lord, make me to dwell in safety. Only in the Lord do we find joy, peace, rest, security, and sleep. He is in control, not us. It has been said, stress is when we try to control, what we should let God control.

Let me close with this story. A pastor started a new church. He found that he was overwhelmed with pressure and stress. He worked more than seventy hours a week. His wife would ask him to take a day off, and he would say, "I can't."  He wasn't sleeping at night, and he started to take sleeping pills. When the church was about a year old, he woke up in the night, and he had this strange sense that God was laughing at him. As he lay in bed, he wondered, Why is God laughing at me? He finally got an answer when he and his family decided to move the heaviest piece of furniture, his desk. As he was pushing and pulling the desk with all his might, his four-year-old son came over and asked if he could help. So together they started sliding it across the floor. After a few minutes, his son stopped pushing, looked up at his dad, and said, "Dad, you're in my way." And then he tried to push the desk by himself. Of course, it didn't budge. Then dad realized that his son thought he was doing all the work, instead of him. Dad couldn't help but laugh. Then he recalled that middle-of-the-night incident and he realized why God was laughing at him. The pastor had thought he was pushing the desk, instead of recognizing God's power and strength. He had started to think it all depended on him, instead of realizing God is in control, and one must depend on Him. (Adapted from Kyle Idleman, Not a Fan (Zondervan, 2011), pp. 96-97). 

Life is not easy. We all go through periods of stress and trials. Yet, the Lord wants you to learn how to be content in all circumstances. Apply these principles and you will learn the secret of contentment in every situation (Philippians 4:11, 12).