I Can’t Believe He Said That!

June 1, 2025

Scripture: Matthew 5:38-42

A soldier serving overseas during Desert Storm received a Dear John letter from his girlfriend back home in the states. At the end of the letter she wrote, P.S. “Will you please return my favorite photograph of myself—I need it for my engagement picture in the local newspaper.” The poor guy was devastated, but several other soldiers came to support him and encouraged him to get even. These other soldiers went throughout the entire camp and collected pictures of all the guy’s girlfriends. They filled up an entire shoe box and sent it to the girl along with a note from her ex-boyfriend saying, “Please find your picture and return the rest—for the life of me, I can’t remember which one you were!”

Our tendency when someone insults or hurts us is to strike back. Get even! The problem is that our striking back often contributes to a downward spiral of hostility. You tell me off. I will tell you off. You pull out a knife, I put out a gun. You pull out a rocket launcher, I rent a tank. You steal an air force jet; I buy an atom bomb. There is a natural sinful tendency to strike back even harder. Selfish overreaction is the natural response of sinful human nature. We are tempted to get more than just even. I must admit that this desire to get even is somewhat appealing to me when I have been wronged—such as when a traffic weaver cuts me and almost causes a major accident.

Now, because of this tendency to get even, God enacted a law to curb runaway retribution by providing a proportionate response by an injured party. Jesus noted this law in Matthew 5:38. “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’

He quoted Exodus 21:24. Eye for eye and a tooth for tooth. This principle is stated in the Pentateuch, but the earliest known recording of this law, eye for eye and tooth for tooth is found in Hammurabi’s code. Hammurabi ruled Babylon from 1792-1750 B.C.

The intent of the law was to restrict unlimited revenge. It was never intended as an excuse for individual retaliation. It belonged to the court, and it was the standard for a judge to execute justice. It taught that the punishment must fit the crime. It allowed for fairness in the administration of justice and it restrained humankind’s sinful nature. This was the context of this statement.

For example, Exodus 21:22-25 states, If men fight and hit a pregnant woman and her child is born prematurely, but there is no serious injury, he will surely be punished in accordance with what the woman’s husband demands of him, and he will pay what the court decides. But if there is serious injury, then you will give a life for a life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, bruise for bruise.

The punishment for hurting this pregnant woman and potentially her baby had to be agreed upon by not only the husband but the court. “Eye for eye and tooth for tooth” was never to be judged and implemented by individuals. It was always meant to go before the court system. 

The religious leaders, however, took this statement out of context. They used this law as an excuse for revenge. They taught as though every person had a duty to take revenge and make sure to get revenge at least equally. God’s law was turned into an individual license, and civil justice was perverted to personal vengeance. The religious interpretation meant if someone offends you, you have the right to offend that person. Jewish interpretation took this instruction as biblical support for retaliation and revenge.

Jesus reminds us that the law was not meant that way. The law was to discourage crime, to prevent excessive punishment, to promote justice, not revenge.

Here is principle 1: Do not take personal revenge into your own hands!

Now please realize this does not mean that there are times when we need to defend ourselves. If someone broke into my house and threatened my family, I would defend them. I see a difference between what is called self-defense and revenge. The point of the law was that God wants us to take actions of personal revenge out of our hands. We can turn them over to the governmental authorities. We see this with Paul when the Jews were trying to kill him while he was imprisoned in Caesarea. In response to the injustice, he appealed to Caesar—the highest court in the land (Acts 25). He used the justice system. We have that right as well.

A legitimate, biblical function of government is to punish those who do wrong (Romans 13:4). That is part of how God administers justice. It is not perfect. But one day, God’s will execute perfect justice. So, even if the government does not execute justice, then we need to turn it over to the Lord. As Paul states in Romans: Repay no one evil for evil….Beloved do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord (Romans 12:17, 19).

Then Jesus gives us several examples/attitudes demonstrating love that one should put on instead of having a revengeful attitude.

Verse 39: But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.

Now you can hear the crowd, “I Can’t Believe He Said That! What do you mean turn the other cheek?” In the ancient Jewish culture, a slap on the face was a great insult. And the natural response was to hit the person back harder. However, Jesus said, “Don’t hit back. Don’t take matters into your own hands. Instead, turn the other cheek.

Now please realize what is described is not a right cross or a fatal knife wound. It is an insulting slap on the right cheek, given by the back of the hand. It was not so much an attempt to do bodily harm, but a deliberate effort to insult, to attack one’s honor and to perhaps provoke retaliation. To such an encounter, we should go by giving opportunity to strike the other cheek. Turning the other cheek symbolizes the no avenging, nonretaliatory, humble and gentle spirit that is to characterize God’s children. When Jesus was physically abused and mocked, He did not retaliate. He questioned the legitimacy, but he did not take vengeance.

I Peter 2:20-23 states, But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. 21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.

22 “He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.” 23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. 

When persecuted for our faith or for other reasons, believers must willingly endure suffering. Now, this does not forbid us from going to the police or the court, but it forbids us from taking judgment into our own hands.

Principle 2: Instead of taking revenge, put on a humble, gentle, kind attitude.

Please realize that turning the other cheek is not surrendering. It is a love driven strategy to stop the escalating violence in personal relationships. It is demonstrating God’s love. It is applying Romans 12:21, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

So, spouses, often the only way the escalating cycle of ugly words can be broken is when one spouse chooses to absorb the other’s anger and return love instead.

Or in a friendship where there is an exchange of hurt that will only stop when one person refuses to heighten the conflict. So, if there is a conflict in your life where you are tempted to zap someone with a verbal stun gun, Jesus says, “Stop, turn the other cheek.”

The Jackie Robinson Story is a 1950 movie about the life, challenges, and achievements of baseball star Jackie Robinson. With the help and vision of Brooklyn Dodgers general manager Branch Rickey, he broke the professional baseball color barrier. Starring Jackie Robinson himself, the movie depicts the prejudice and hatred Robinson had to endure and the depth of patience, courage, and self-control he displayed in the face of relentless adversity.

The clip begins in Branch Rickey's office. It is their first meeting. Rickey surprises Robinson by telling him he wants Robinson to try out for his team and possibly become the first black player in the major leagues.

Rickey asks, "What do you think, Jackie? Do you have guts enough to play the game no matter what happens? They will shout insults at you. They will come into you spikes first. They'll throw at your head."

"They've been throwing at my head for a long time, Mr. Rickey," Robinson responds.

Rickey fabricates a scenario: "Suppose I'm a player on the eve of an important game. Suppose I collide with you at second base, and when I get up, I say, 'You, you dirty black so-and-so.' What do you do?"

"Mr. Rickey, do you want a ball player who's afraid to fight back?" Robinson asks.

Rickey answers emphatically, "I want a ball player with guts enough not to fight back. You have got to do the job with base hits, stolen bases, and fielding ground balls, Jackie. Nothing else. Now, I am playing you in the World Series, and I am hotheaded. I want to win the game. So, I go into you spikes first. You jab the ball in my ribs, and the umpire says 'out'. All I can see is your black face, that black face right over me. So, I haul off and punch you right in the cheek. What do you do?"

Robinson calmly thinks for a moment, then answers, "Mr. Rickey, I've got two cheeks."

Rickey is very happy with his answer. He briefly discusses the contract with Robinson. As Robinson is about to leave, Rickey tells him, "Remember one thing. No matter what happens on the ball field, you cannot fight back. That is going to be the hard part. You can't fight back."

Robinson does turn the other cheek and becomes a model of courage and humility.

Then Jesus gives another attitude example. Verse 40, And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 

Again, you can hear the crowd think or say, “I cannot believe he said that. What do you mean Jesus.”

In those days, a Jew would typically have a couple of shirts, but he would only own one coat, and it was extremely valuable because at night, it became his blanket against the cold. In fact, under the Mosaic law, you could sue a person for his shirt, but never his coat. A person had a right to keep his coat (Deuteronomy 24:12-14; Exodus 22:26, 27).

But Jesus is saying that if someone sues you because you owe them a debt, throw in the coat as well. Your coat is not as important as healing the conflict. In other words, Jesus is saying, “I want you to settle the dispute that led to the lawsuit to the other person’s complete and total satisfaction. I do not want the other person to feel bitter or resentful. So, if you owe your shirt, let him have it. And if throwing in your coat will help ease the bad feelings and make things right, then do that also. So, do not hold so tightly to what you own that it prevents you from making peace.

Principle 3: Instead of pursuing personal revenge, seek to live in peace with others. If necessary, relinquish earthly possessions. This will show the love of Jesus.

Romans 13:8 states, let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.

In I Corinthians 6, the Apostle Paul rebukes the Corinthian church for having disputes, suing one another. He instructs the church to settle the dispute within the church body. He writes verses 7-9, The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? 8 Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers and sisters. 9 Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God?

The Apostle Paul wants the church to be an effective witness for Jesus, to show the love of Jesus!

If we are going to have this attitude, then we need to take to heart what Jesus says in Matthew 6:19-21 as he calls us not to store up riches on the earth but to practice simplicity, since riches have a tendency to steal our hearts.

We also need to take to heart I Timothy 6:6-8, as Paul states, But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8 But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 

Then Jesus says verse 41, If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 

Again, you can hear the crowd. “I can’t believe in said that. What do you mean Jesus?”

Roman soldiers had legal rights to make a civilian carry their luggage up to one Roman mile. This is probably what happened with Simon of Cyrene when he was forced to carry Jesus’ cross (Matt 27:32). The Jews hated doing this as a soldier’s pack would weigh up to 85 pounds. It also took up their time. So, the Jews hated this Roman requirement. As a result, many of them had a rebellious, revolting desire against the Romans. So, Jesus’ teaching on going two miles instead of one mile was outrageous!

Now suppose a Roman soldier comes along and says carry my pack for a mile. What would you do?

1. Actively retaliate, physical retaliation in a likely futile attempt at combat?

2. Resist, verbally deny the request, and run like the dickens?

3. Comply with the request, meet the legal requirement, and go with him the mile, no more and no less? Maybe you mumble or complain the whole way.

4. Yet Jesus teaches none of these; He says, “Go with him two.”

I am sure that no one liked this forced labor when it happened. They probably resent it just as much as we do when we are forced into something. Yet, Jesus says, do not resent it. Do not try to get even. Instead, be generous. Give more than what they have a right to demand.

Principle 4: Do not have a vengeful, resentful attitude, but put on a servant, helpful, gracious attitude.

What might have been the response of the Roman soldier if one carried his pack for two miles instead of one mile? It very well might be appreciated. He might feel respected. It might open the door to share about Jesus!

So, how do you respond when someone imposes on your time and energy? Are you gracious? Do you recognize that your time and energy are the Lord’s and he can use them, as he sees fit? Do you trust God’s sovereignty in the interruptions of the day—including disruptions and impositions by those who are rude and disrespectful? Our time is not ours. It is the Lord’s.

I try to put on a servant attitude when people ask, but there are times I realize that I can only do so much and or it not be the most loving thing for that person. I do not want to enable them. Yet, helping others with gladness shows the love of Jesus. This is often God’s method of saving the lost or bringing a positive change in others.

Let me ask you. How many of you like paying taxes? Do you resent it? Don’t you wish you could find some way to make sure the government doesn’t get a dime? Now I will take advantage of the various deductions and various legal ways to save taxes, but paying taxes in many ways is a privilege in being a part of this nation. During vacation, Aaron and I were talking about retirement accounts and tax ramification. I surprisingly indicated that I was not extremely worried about having to pay taxes. As Jesus said in Matthew 22:21, Pay to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s; and to God the things that are God’s.”

Of course, do this with gladness!

Verse 42, Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Once again, you can hear the crowd saying, “I can’t believe he said that! What do you mean Jesus?”

Jesus calls us to be giving. If we love, we give. God so loved the world that He gave.... Love is ultimately self-sacrificing. It is not primarily a feeling. It is an act of self-giving. It is an act of self-sacrifice. Love is defined by Christ who loved us and gave Himself up for us. The simple characteristic of love is that it gives and gives and gives.

Here is the last principle. Instead of having a selfish, vengeful attitude, put on an attitude of love by having a willingness to give. Realize all that you have is the Lord’s and we are to be good stewards of what he has given us.

Proverbs 19:17 states, Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed.

I John 3:16-18 states, We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers and sisters. 17 But whoever has worldly goods and sees his brother or sister in need, and closes his [e]heart against him, how does the love of God remain in him? 18 Little children, let’s not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.

Paul states in Acts 20:35, In everything I showed you that by working hard in this way you must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He Himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

Listen, the Bible teaches that giving is a way of honoring God, showing faith, and expressing love.. Giving is not just about the act itself but reflects one's heart and relationship with God. Generosity, cheerful giving, and helping those in need are central themes, encouraging believers to view their resources as tools for blessing others and honoring God. By practicing these principles, individuals can cultivate a spirit of generosity that aligns with biblical teachings.

Obviously, we need wisdom in giving. We need to realize the difference in helping and enabling. On vacation, of a man at a stop sign had a sign that read, “I shall not lie. I need a beer. Then there was this young healthy-looking lady at a stop light that came up to the car window asking for money. We turned her down, but she persisted. How about a dollar? No. How about a quarter. We told her sorry; we will not help. She could easily get a job as a salesperson. As II Thessalonians 3:10 states, For even when we were with you, we used to give you this order: if anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either.

Oh, how we need wisdom and discernment in this area of helping others. I must admit one of the keys for me is one needs to be part of the church. I also need to be able to trust that person not to waste it.

I encourage you to let go of the quest for revenge, your critical spirit, your bitterness, your desire to get even and put on a giving, helping, kind, sacrificial loving attitude.

Let me close with this story told by Mother Teresa. One night a man came to our house and told me, “There is a family with eight children. They have not eaten for days.” I took some food with me and went. When I finally came to that family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured by hunger. There was no sorrow or sadness on their faces, just the deep pain of hunger. I gave the rice to their mother. She divided the rice into two, and went out, carrying half the rice. When she came back, I asked her, “Were did you go?” She gave a simple answer. “To my neighbors—they are hungry also.”

May we look beyond ourselves and have an attitude of love toward others. If you do, the Lord will bless you beyond what you could even imagine!!