Forgive!!
July 20, 2025
Scripture: Matthew 6:12, 14, 15
During a children’s sermon one Sunday morning, a pastor held up an ugly-looking summer shirt that he wore occasionally around the house. He explained to the children that someone said the shirt was ugly and should be thrown away. Then he said, “This really hurt me. I'm having trouble forgiving the person who said those mean things. Do you think I should forgive that person?" Immediately, the pastor’s six-year-old daughter raised her hand. She said, "Yes, you should." The pastor/dad said, “But why? The person really hurt my feelings." To which the little girl responded, "Because you are married to her."
Forgiving others can be difficult. Today, bitterness, resentment, and anger run really deep. So many people can’t let go of bitterness or anger! In our text today, Jesus stresses the importance of forgiveness.
In Matthew 6:9-13, Jesus instructed how to pray. Matthew 6:12 states, And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. Now, you can hear his disciples and others ask, “Did you really mean that my forgiveness is based on the degree to which I forgive?” Jesus answers this question this way in verses 14, 15, For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Today, I want to note the Biblical meaning/description of forgiveness and then state several reasons why we are to forgive.
So, what is forgiveness? Forgiveness has been defined as the release or a dismissal of something. Biblical forgiveness is releasing a person from the debt or guilt of sin. God offers forgiveness to humankind through the sacrificial death of Jesus Christ.
II Corinthians 5:21 notes, God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become right with God.
The forgiveness we have in Christ involves the release of sinners from God’s just penalty (Romans 8:1). He forgives our sins. Our transgressions are erased, wiped off the record. The cross of Jesus was the demonstration of God's justice (Rom. 3:25). It was by blood!! Hebrews 9:20-28 notes that the law requires that forgiveness be by the cleansing with blood. So, without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness. God in his justice could not just wave his hand and say, “All is forgiven.” The price, the sentence, the sacrifice had to be fulfilled.
God paid the ultimate price as He gave His only begotten Son (John 3:16, 17). Forgiveness is an act of the will and God’s will was to offer salvation, a way to enter His kingdom. He provided the way through the sacrificial death of His Son, Jesus Christ! Why did he do this? He LOVES us!
Please take to heart God's forgiveness is not based on human merit but it is a gift that requires repentance and faith. It requires turning away from sin and living a life of faith in Jesus Christ.
So, Jesus indicates receiving God’s forgiveness is our willingness to forgive other people. The Bible tells us that we are to forgive those who sin against us. Refusing to forgive a person demonstrates resentment, bitterness, and/or anger, none of which are the traits of a growing Christian.
Now forgiveness of others is a release or dismissal of anger, bitterness, or resentment. It is critical for a person to forgive others, and it might open the door to the reconciliation of a relationship.
Now, what is the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation? This is important to understand to truly express Christ-like love! The ideal is for a person to release internal resentment and hopefully the relationship can be restored. This is strongly encouraged in God’s word!!! In fact, this is expected within the Church!
For instance, Ephesians 4:2, 3 states, Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Jesus said in John 13:34, 35, A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples if you love one another. Also note Philippians 2:1-4.
However, one might forgive/release the bitterness/resentment, but this does not mean the relationship is always restored. Reconciliation depends on the other person’s willingness to get along or to change. If one is willing to change/reconcile, then the trust gauge can begin to be rebuilt. Please realize that forgiveness is for you. Reconciliation takes both parties to get along.
One verse that has spoken to me numerous times over the years is Romans 12:18, If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. People can be difficult. Sometimes, attempting to reconcile is not possible. One needs to move on. There are times one forgives, apologizes and relationships are reconciled.
I learned years ago that I am to encourage or teach according to God’s word. II Timothy 2:24, And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. People can be stubborn, strong-willed, or traditionalists as they want their own way. I have learned the key is to try to teach/influence them to see the Lord’s perspective, to do His will!
Now one of the key principles to apply to others is to ask, “What is the most loving thing I can do for that person? What would help them hopefully to come to know Christ or grow in Christ?” Sometimes one can help with a particular need. This might be financial help or giving someone a ride. Other times, it might be tough love. It might be showing kindness but telling a person that the way they are behaving is going to result in not inheriting the kingdom of God, going to hell (I Corinthians 6:9,10). One might have to show tough love by pressing charges for a criminal act.
With that said, the question is why is it so important to forgive? Why should we forgive? God’s word commands us to forgive, but why? Let me share with you four reasons why we are to forgive.
1. Forgive others because you have been forgiven MUCH! Value His forgiveness! Forgive from your heart!
One passage that spoke to me years ago when I was dealing with bitterness as Matthew 18:21-35.
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold[h] was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt, and let him go.
28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
Forgiving from the heart means you don’t continue to express your bitterness to others or hold it within your heart. Forgiving from the heart means at least trying to restore a relationship.
Here is the key. Since the Heavenly Father has forgiven you so, so much, then forgive others. How much we understand the depth of our sinfulness will determine how much we value God’s forgiveness. So often, we don’t realize, consider the depth of our own sinfulness and God’s amazing grace! It has been said that until we see ourselves as the “chief of sinners” as Paul did (I Timothy 1:15), we are not ready to minister or forgive. This is an important principle that I had to learn. It is when one realizes the depth of one’s own sin, not only will one forgive, but one will be better equipped to help others change and develop. Note Luke 7:40-50.
An African once told me about a dream he had. He saw a man walk up a hill. He soon recognized that he was the man. The hill was Calvary, and the crosses were at the top. Then he noticed that Jesus was walking behind him, but Jesus was having a tough time, staggering up the hill. He was almost crawling because he had this huge great burden on his back. The African went to help Jesus, saying, "Lord, are you carrying the sins of the whole world to Calvary?" The Lord replied, "Oh no, just yours, just yours!”
2. Love like Jesus! His love compels us!
After Jesus was hung on the cross, he said to those who had driven the nails into his hands, to the one who spit on Him and mocked Him, He said, Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.
Jesus sets the example of forgiving others. He understood people. We also must try to understand those who have wronged us. There are always a reason people act the way they do. Getting to know others, their temperament types, their backgrounds will often help us be more merciful and forgiving.
We are to have such a loving forgiving perspective. Ephesians 4:31, 32 states, Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Also note Colossians 3:12-14.
II Corinthians 5:14, 15 has spoken to my heart numerous times. For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15 And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
Jesus’ love compels me to forgive, to love others.
Listen, forgiveness is also an essential part of the life of believers! Christians are to be characterized by love and forgiveness. True believers are marked and identified by being forgiving and merciful. They are the sons and daughters who turn the other cheek when slapped, and who bless their enemies instead of cursing them (Matt 5:38-48).
This doesn’t mean that true believers won’t struggle to forgive. They will. Often, we will forgive, and those angry feelings will come back. However, when they come back, we need to fight to forgive again. Mercy is a characteristic of those who are truly saved.
3. If you forgive, you will be emotionally and spiritually blessed!!!
Robert Enright, Ph.D. authored an article om PsychologyToday entitled, How People Become Bitter and Resentful. He gives several symptoms of bitterness and resentment. 1. If a person is bitter or resentful, his/her mood is often one of anger, disappointment, or negativity. They might frequently complain, criticize others, or dwell on past injustices. 2. Another symptom of a person who is bitter or resentful is that they don’t feel fully understood or appreciated. 3. Another symptom of being bitter is one is not happy! The article also noted that the process of becoming a bitter person is sneaky and slow, making it difficult to detect while it’s happening.
Ephesians 4:26, 27 indicates that if a person allows anger or bitterness to fester, it gives a devil a foothold.
Nothing compares to the freedom we feel when we learn to forgive others. When we choose not to forgive, we become slaves to bitterness. We are the ones most hurt by holding on to unforgiveness. In his book, "Forgive and Forget", Lewis Smedes wrote these profound words about forgiveness: "When you release the wrongdoer from the wrong, you cut a malignant tumor out of your inner life. You set a prisoner free, but you discover that the real prisoner was yourself."
Forgiveness is crucial for spiritual health! Listen, if you hold onto an unforgiving spirit those who sin against you, you will never be able to experience and enjoy the abundant life in Christ. However, if you let go of the bitterness, forgive, put on Christlike love, you will be emotionally and spiritually blessed! You will feel God’s joy and peace. Your fellowship with the Lord will be renewed. You will feel God’s love and forgiveness! As Matthew 6:14 states, For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
Here is a fourth principle. Forgive because it will prevent you from being disciplined and/or punished.
Where there is an unforgiving spirit there is sin, and where there is sin there is discipline and punishment. It has been said that our relationships with others are a picture of our relationship with God. Our horizontal relationships reflect our vertical relationship with the Lord. If we are constantly in discord with others, it pictures the discord in our relationship with God. In Matthew 5:23-24, Christ told the disciples that if they went to the altar to offer a gift and realized that somebody had something against them, they should leave the gift, go make right with the other person, and then offer the gift to God. Forgiving and attempting reconciliation with others is more important than worship. An unwillingness to reconcile with others spoils our worship, as God will reject it.
At the end of the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant, it states, In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart (Matthew 18:34,35).
In Hebrews 12:4-7, we learn that the Lord disciplines and we are not to lose heart when he does.
Now, this discipline may show up in various ways. One’s walk with the Lord will be dry and difficult. There might not be a real desire to pray or spend time with the Lord. Sermons might be dry and difficult to listen to. Worship will be a burden. Holding onto anger, bitterness, resentment, will cause one to miss God’s blessings. The Lord also may discipline by causing trouble at work, hardship at home, or difficulties in the ministry. The Corinthian Church experienced sickness, depression, and even death because of their abuse of the Lord’s Supper and the divisions which came from that abuse (1 Cor 11:18, 29-30).
What is the reason for God’s discipline? He wants to teach us to trust and obey Him. He wants to help us to grow and mature into His character! Now, if we are holding onto bitterness, an unforgiving spirit, He will discipline trying to prompt us to confess our sin, to forgive from the heart, to love others, to align our will with His will! Listen, the Lord is willing to forgive and work in your life by the power of His Spirit if you will confess your sin and make a wholehearted commitment to love the Lord and love others.
Now, if you refuse to confess your sin; refuse to forgive from the heart; refuse to decide to love and align your will with God’s will, then as Jesus said, But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins (Matthew 6:15).
I John 2:9-11 indicates that such a person is still in the darkness. I John 2:9-11, Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. 10 Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. 11 But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them.
I John 3:10 describes such a person as still being a child of the devil. I John 3:10, This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not God’s child, nor is anyone who does not love their brother and sister.
Also, I John 4:7, 8 indicates such a person does not really know God’s love. Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
So, if you are unforgiving, you should question if we are really saved. Please, please do not count on cheap grace! God’s love and grace properly understood should compel you to forgive and love others!
Let me close with this.
Imagine, I'm going to your house, and I drive in your driveway and by mistake I run over your favorite cat. So, you come out and say, "That's my favorite cat you just ran over." I say: "Oh, I'm so sorry. I just won the lottery, and I was so excited." "Please, forgive me."
"I can't forgive you. That's my cat. I loved that cat."
"I know I can't bring it back to life. I'm sorry. Would you forgive me?"
"No, I can't forgive you. You can't bring that cat back to life. I can't forgive you. You are a mean, cruel person."
"I'm sorry. I know I can't bring this cat back. But I just won the lottery, so here's a check. I know I can't bring the cat back, but would $50,000 help you to forgive me? Here."
You look at the check. "Whoa. I forgive you, brother. Hallelujah. You're absolutely forgiven. God bless you."
I say, "While we're on the subject, do you have trouble forgiving people?" You respond, "Now that you mention it, yes, my neighbor called me a bad name the other day."
"Well, forgive."
"No, I can't forgive him."
"Well, here is a check for $25,000. Would you forgive him now?
"He's forgiven. Yes, he's completely forgiven. I also have a spouse who can be rather critical. I am having a tough time forgiving him.
She says my spouse is rather critical.
Okay, Here’s $200,000 Well, anything else?"
She says, "Yes, my uncle did something."
"Okay. Here's $100,000. Anything else?"
"I have a former teacher who did some things I didn't like."
"Okay. Here's another $100,000. Anybody else?"
"Well, someone in church did something."
"Here's $200,000. Will you forgive now?"
"Oh, yeah. Forgiven."
"And here's another $500,000 to make sure there's no residue left anywhere. Will you forgive everybody now?"
She says, "I am the most forgiving person in the world now. I forgive everybody."
Jesus didn't pay just $100,000 or $5 million or $10 million to give you the power to forgive. He spilled his blood on the cross to give you the power to forgive. Will you receive the gift and forgive others?
